In this episode, Harmony explores the often-frustrating dynamic of working with clients who possess deep awareness of their patterns but struggle to create lasting change. She highlights a common clinical challenge: when insight is present, yet movement toward resolution is stalled—particularly when the origins of the pattern trace back to preverbal or early developmental experiences. These deeply embedded patterns are often rooted in early attachment wounds and unmet needs that became wired into the nervous system as survival strategies. Harmony explains how such patterns, while once adaptive, now operate unconsciously as forms of self-sabotage—blocking intimacy, vulnerability, and transformation in the present.
Expanding on this theme, Harmony shares a powerful story from her own healing journey, illustrating how an early attachment wound shaped her internal experience and relational patterns. She describes the moment she recognized how her adult reactions were being driven by a younger part of herself that had never received the safety and attunement she needed. Through conscious presence, somatic awareness, and deep self-compassion, she was able to meet the original wound not with analysis, but with the nurturing presence that was missing in the first place. This process allowed her to internally complete the cycle of experience and begin to satisfy those unmet needs from within.
Harmony emphasizes that lasting healing does not come from bypassing these wounds or pushing for behavioral change, but from creating a relational field—both internally and with a therapist—where the nervous system can safely reorganize. When the younger self is truly met, seen, and felt, the system no longer needs to rely on the old protective patterns. This is where real transformation happens: not from efforting or fixing, but from presence, attunement, and the willingness to be with what is most vulnerable.
To listen to the full episode, join us on Patreon: patreon.com/TheAwakenedTherapist
To find out about our upcoming trainings, check us out at https://awakenedtherapist.com/holistic-therapy-trainings/
Harmony Kwiker (kw-eye-ker), MA, LPC, NCC, ACS, is a psychotherapist, author, and visiting instructor at Naropa University where she teaches mindfulness-based transpersonal counseling. She is the founder of the Institute for Spiritual Alignment where she offers ongoing learning opportunities for therapists who are committed to awakening. Her first book, Reveal: Embody the True Self Beyond Trauma and Conditioning, is a vulnerable self-help memoir, and her second book, Align: Living and Loving from the True Self , and her third book, The Awakened Therapist: Spirituality, Consciousness, and Subtle Energy, is a text book. Her newest book, Holistic Co-Regulation: A Practitioner’s Guide to Working with Chronic Dysregulation, is now available.
Disclaimer: The episode you’re about to hear is intended for educational purposes only and this content should not be taken as supervision or clinical advice. Because each person is so unique, please consult your supervisor before attempting to apply any intervention from a theory you are not explicitly trained in.